By Dr. Sinay Butler
Dragonfly Wellness & Education Center

(published in the October, 2025 edition of Stevens County Times)

In recent years, politics has become more divided, more personal, and more hostile than many of us can remember. Neighbors who used to wave across the fence now avoid each other because of yard signs. Family dinners are cut short to dodge political arguments. And most concerning, when a public figure who represents “the other side” is harmed, some people celebrate.

This reaction is deeply troubling — not only because it reveals how far we’ve let political tribalism pull us apart, but also because it takes a real toll on our mental health, our communities, and the children who are watching us model what it means to be adults.

The Mental Health Toll of Tribalism

It’s natural to feel strongly about issues that matter. Healthy debate and disagreement are part of democracy. But when our differences turn into tribalism — where “my side” is good and “the other side” is evil — we stop seeing people as human beings and start seeing them as enemies. That shift isn’t just dangerous for the country; it’s corrosive to our own well-being.

Research shows that chronic anger and resentment increase stress, anxiety, and even physical health problems like high blood pressure. Social media, news shows, and even some political leaders thrive on feeding this cycle of outrage. The result? A constant state of agitation that wears us down emotionally.

When we celebrate harm to another person — whether it’s a political opponent, a celebrity, or even a neighbor — we’re adding to that emotional burden. What might feel like a release of frustration in the moment actually deepens our bitterness, hardens our divisions, and keeps us stuck in a cycle of hostility.

The Ripple Effect on Our Communities

In rural communities, where we depend on one another for support, the effects of divisiveness are especially harmful. When politics becomes a reason to mistrust or dislike a neighbor, the fabric of community life starts to unravel. We stop working together in schools, churches, and volunteer groups because suspicion overshadows cooperation.

It also becomes harder to solve the very problems we care about — whether it’s supporting local farmers, improving health care access, or keeping small-town schools strong — because we’re too busy fighting over labels to listen to each other’s ideas.

Every time we make light of violence against someone we disagree with, we send the message that cruelty is acceptable as long as it’s aimed at “them.” But there is no “them” in our county. There’s only us. And when we lose our ability to respect each other across differences, everyone suffers.

The Message to Our Kids

Perhaps the most sobering consequence of celebrating harm to others is what it teaches our children. Kids learn less from what we say, and more from how we behave.

When they see adults mocking, demeaning, or even cheering violence against people who think differently, they learn that cruelty is a valid way to handle disagreement. They internalize the idea that it’s okay to dehumanize people if they don’t share our views.

This is the same dynamic that drives bullying in schools, which we know damages children’s self-esteem and mental health. Yet many adults are modeling the very same behavior in the political arena.

If we want our kids to grow up resilient, compassionate, and capable of working with others, we need to show them that disagreements can be handled with respect. We need to demonstrate that violence — whether physical or verbal — is never something to celebrate.

Choosing a Different Way

None of this means we shouldn’t care deeply about politics or fight for what we believe in. But it does mean we should fight fair. We should hold onto our humanity even as we hold onto our convictions.

That might look like refusing to laugh at a cruel meme about “the other side.” It might mean reaching out to a neighbor you disagree with to find common ground. It might even mean choosing to turn off the TV or put down the phone when outrage threatens to take over your day. It certainly means being mindful of our dehumanizing language when referring to those who think differently than we do.

It also means remembering that every politician, public figure, or neighbor is still a person — a parent, a child, a human being with a story. You don’t have to agree with them, but you also don’t have to dehumanize them.

Healing Starts Small

The divisions in our country are real, and they won’t heal overnight. Healing often starts small — with individuals and communities choosing a different way forward. Here in Stevens County we show up for each other. No one asks who the wild fire evacuees voted for when we haul their critters to safety. We donate to our neighbors regardless of what bumper stickers are on their car.

That same spirit can guide us through the current climate of divisiveness. We don’t have to wait for national leaders to set the tone. We can set it ourselves — in the ways we talk to and about our neighbors, the compassion we extend, and the example we set for our children.

A Final Word

Celebrating violence or harm against someone we disagree with may feel like a release, but in truth, it damages us all. It undermines our mental health, divides our communities, and sends a destructive message to the next generation.

We can do better. We must do better — for the sake of our own well-being, for the strength of our communities, and for the children who are learning from us what it means to be human. If you need support in change, Dragonfly Wellness and Education Center has counselors and life coaches. Visit dragonflywec.com or call 509-724-0221 for more information.

Sinay Butler holds a doctorate in Community Counseling: Marriage and Family Therapy. She specializes in infidelity recovery for individuals and couples. She writes regularly about relationships, trauma, and emotional health. She can be reached at 509-724-0221 or dragonflywec.com.